An Official Memo

To: The National Battlefields Commission of the Government of Canada
Re: The National Battlefields Commission of the Government of Canada

Dear the National Battlefields Commission of the Government of Canada,

Although I've always enjoyed your work, it pains me to take umbrage at your recent decision to declare the soiled chesterfield upon which I slumber a National Battlefield. True, a great many epic and bloody struggles have occured on it's pleather exterior, but the situation remains entirely too delicate to glorify at this time. Please remove all alabaster plaques, along with the Tricentennial Memorial Gift shop.

In yours, I remain,

Herbert U. Norway