I've Spent Two Years in Prison

Tidings!  I went to prison!

There is a rule in some lands, regarding unintentional regicide.   'Kingslaughter' they call it. Fortunately for this noble vagabond, the law is so archaic that the maximum allowed sentence is precisely 650 days, as this was considered one-tenth of a life-span at the time.  Ha ha, if they but knew of the invention of penicillin!

Don't fret, Norway loyalists, I've emerged smoother, more clear-headed and with my magnificent vanity fully intact.   650 days may seem like a yawning chasm of time, an unending and hellish span which could rub a weaker man to dust and powder, and it is! it surely is!  Thankfully, I spent long stretches of it in a catatonic state, brought on by excessive bloodletting and self-administered trepanation.  These miracle cures have proven themselves invaluable!

It would seem that through my entire post-larval stage I have had far too much blood, and far too few one-inch diameter holes in my cranium.  The difference is... transcendental.

 I have been court-ordered to apologize to Bhutan, and the people of Bhutan, but I will not.  As a matter of fact, Bhutan, and the people of Bhutan, will apologize to me.  And they know exactly why.