The Saga Unfurls

The ambulance was swift and merciless as it wrought me to a soft, squishy bed of Indian gooseberry (the richest source of C) and I was allowed to osmose myself back into, if not health, a heart-wise health substitute I call 'HealZax'.

Let me start again.

Scene:

Our Hero, gums bleeding fiercely, is rushed to the hospital in Burgundy.

In walks bespectacled, tidy Dr. Kidswear, a prim old fuddy-duddy with an absolutely terrifying glass eye. Smugly, he positions himself at the side of the bed, and slowly flips through his oh-so-fancy clipboard while condescendingly asking the hideous young nurse why I am covered in jam.

Nurse: It is deeply anti-scorbutic
Dr. K: You are an excellent nurse.
OH (HN): (gums bleed)

As it would turn out, the nurse has no licence to practice medicine in the slightest, Dr. Kidswear has lost his glass eye, and Herbert has to change his fingerprints via boiling.