Those Infernal Metaphors...

They gave me what must be analogous to a simile of the swine fluenza! Coff! Sneezzle!

I will type more later when my keyboard isn't ensconsed in a quivering matrix of thick yellow mucous.

Stand-by, Herbromaniacs & Norwegaphiles.

I Used a Metaphor

Read that last blob good and hard, do you notice anything? Ah ha, of course you didn't, simpleton, so let me tell you: I used a metaphor!

The "kidnappers" (which turned out to be a swallow of piglets, by the way) were nothing more than pungent, oinking analogies! Most of them represented fear, and I believe that at least one of them represented low self-esteem.

Now, you armchair psychoanalysts may have some high-falutin' theories as to why I day-dreamed my way into mortal danger, and I accept that. I've been known to falut occasionally myself! But before you judge, I pray you to keep in mind that I am but a man. A terrified, self-loathing little man with such crippling social anxieties that he spits up into his cupped hands when he so much as receives mail.

Hello Google? Please strike that last paragraph from Internet. Many thanks.

HuN